As mentioned, I’ve been training for a triathlon for quite some time now. In fact, it has felt like it’s been going on TOO long. So although I was nervous, I was very excited for the Big Day yesterday.

The Nautica Malibu triathlon, which has been going on for 26 years now (!), has a ‘Classic’ distance, which is a smidge longer than your standard ‘Sprint’ triathlon. 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike, 4 mile run. I was in the Athena class, which is for bitches that weigh more than 150. Hey, at least it wasn’t “Thunderthigh” class, which is for guys that weigh 185-200!! LOL

I was unable to sleep the entire night (including worries about not wearing the right sports bra) and finally gave up and left at 5 AM. Well, left too late to get good parking – the lot opened at 4:30 AM and it was insane.

Long story short, finally got to the transition area, unpacked all my stuff, squished into my wetsuit and gabbed with coworkers (I am part of the triathlon team at work).

Enough words. Here is my triathlon experience being told in image format. Thank you to photographer Jason Hullinger for being my own personal paparazzi. Because this is a ‘celebrity’ triathlon, there were paparazzi everywhere. AND I HAD MY OWN. Click the pictures if you wish to see a larger size.

Tally Ho, to the ocean we go!

ohgodohgodohgod don’t drown

Run? On the sand? After not drowning? HAHAHAHAH no.

Must shove bike shoes over wet, sandy feet. And fast. Soggy and still tired from swim. Must.. keep.. going…

And I’m off on the ONLY part of the triathlon I know I’ll exceed at! I’m the NOT skinny person (in front) on the bike. VIVA ATHENAS

Not me on the bike coming back in, but this gives you an idea of how huge the event was – 2000 triathletes!

Here I am crossing the finish line after jogging/walking 4 miles. I look so happy. This is because all I am thinking is ‘HOLY SHIT I NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN’

Here is how I really felt right after finishing. Do I look exhausted enough for you??

I got a medal for not dying.

And there you have it. The only downside was there was a wretched headwind. I was doing well over 21MPH on the course, then turned back and was reduced to 15-17 MPH 🙁 I would have had 10+ minutes off my bike time if it were not for such a bad headwind.

Here are my stats:
Clock Time 02:33:47
Overall Place 1272 / 1559
Gender Place 374 / 547
Division Place 12 / 19
Swim 00:24:46
Trans1 00:04:21
Bike 01:05:44
Trans2 00:03:40
Run 00:55:14
Swimrank 1304
Bikerank 910
Mph 16.4
Runrank 1460
Pace 00:13:48

I WAS NOT LAST!!! VICTORY!