Dear 18 Wheeler Truck,
Thanks for cutting me off. I know you saw me, but when I slowed down in the intersection due to horrible road conditions, you figured you could take that turn. You are not a small car, but a large truck.
Dear Hot Dood Cyclists,
I understand that I am ‘slow’ at only 19 MPH with a headwind. I don’t have anyone to draft off of, unlike you people in your fabulous matching spandex and 2010 Cannondales. You could at least acknowledge me at the stop light, I am sure it was my weight that triggered the light. You should thank me for that.
Lewd but Crude wink,
I am saddened by the loss of your life, but can you please decay a little more to the right of the road? I consider you and your entrails a road hazard. Also, depending on your state of decomposition, you take some of the fun out of cycling.