So I joined the YMCA because they had a pool and I needed to start swimming twice a week to train for the triathlon.

First, I go to the Cardio room to do some jogging; I’m very pleased, I did a ten minute mile (for me that is awesome). While huffing and puffing, I notice the guy on the treadmill in front of me is waving his towel around over his head in a circular motion. What is he doing? Why is he waving his towel around? Is it soggy and need to dry out? Is he partying it up on his treadmill? This goes on for SEVERAL MINUTES. I decide to look away from towel dude.

A few machines to his right, some kid has the decided to ramp the machine up to 8.5 MPH and is going balls to the wall. For like, 40 seconds. Then he turns off the machine, wanders away, repeats this every few minutes. RUN RUN RUN STOP. Wander. RUN RUN RUN STOP. Wander. I saw him wandering over a highway over pass later a few hours later that night when I was returning from a friends house.

There are also people wandering on treadmills (can you wander on a treadmill?) in full civilian clothes. It’s a billion degrees and I’m finding out the hard way why no one was on the machines in the middle of the room – the fans are on the perimeter, so if you want any kind of breeze, you need to be on the sides. The civilians apparently know this.

I then forayed into the pool area. I was about to start swimming when a man got out of the pool next to me. I stared. I blatantly stared. He was dripping wet and a goddamn silver fox. I think my mouth was hanging open. I then thought to myself ‘Gee sparky, how horrible of you! You wouldn’t want to be gawked at like that. Now swim!”.

This is what dudes at the YMCA normally look like

This is what the dudes at the YMCA looked like that I was at. If you ask nicely, I’ll tell you where to find this YMCA.

I’m ashamed to admit that this happened at least THREE more times. I’d be mid stroke, taking a breath, and some sort of abmaster fox sex god dripping in water would be walking by. I would just stop in the middle of the lane. Jesus, this YMCA pool is apparently where all the hotties go. Sadly, not to be crude, they are all probably doing each other in the sauna. I see those posts on Craigslist. I know. At least a girl can look!!