Too many life changes?

Went to the endocronologist today to get more blood stolen, to see:
a. if cancer is comin’ back (I’m thinking this is a big NO, fortunately)
b. see if my thyroid levels are within acceptable parameters (I think they are but just marginally)

The problem is, I made way too many life choices right after my surgery. So now I can’t figure out what is the cause of what.

I’m not a person who believes in regret – I MADE the CHOICE. I have to live with it. But it doesn’t mean I like it, yanno?

Also, related to poor life-choices, I’ve gained a considerable amount of weight (15lbs) in the past year or two. It’s so weird being 165 lbs. It’s horrible, I feel HUGE. Because I’m so tall (5’9″), most people don’t really notice, or don’t think I’m overweight. Of course, if you believe in the BMI scale (which is OK for reference, but not to be that relied on), my BMI is 24.4, and ‘overweight’ is 25. That is wayyy too close to comfort.

The doctor was like ‘oh you have lost weight!’, trying to give me a positive, but the truth is, it was cold last time I was at his office so I was wearing more clothes. Today it was just leggings and a light dress. So no, I haven’t lost weight (except muscle mass); I just didn’t wear heavier clothing.

I haven’t been on a bike in weeks; I’m going to make a huge effort tomorrow to at least take the trail bike out for a like, 3mile spin around the canyon.

The choices are mine; I need to make the RIGHT choice. I’ll admit – it’s tough, scary and downright painful making the ‘right’ choice right now. I’m scared just thinking about it. Boo hiss mew to being such a scaredy cat. Which, of course, is yet another choice, right?

Well, to end this fairly boring post – at least I have the ability to make choices. If I have to be a woman, at least I’m a woman in the 21st century in the United States.

3 thoughts on “Too many life changes?

  1. You are so right – change is scary especially as much change as you have gone through in the last few years (and especially in the last 8 months). It is also scary knowing we are responsible for our own decisions and our own happiness. But you are strong, a fighter and one of the most awesome people I know. You will get back on track, I promise. And I’m totally here for you and I will always have your back. Here’s to you kicking serious butt again real soon. I love you sweetheart. xoxoxo

    Elissa

    • When I was smoking I had this big mental block about getting on the bike. But once I got over the mental block, riding was always fine, fun and rewarding, despite the 1/2 uphill I had to do every time I started a ride from home. There is something about being on two wheels that just puts a smile on, I hope you get to ride tomorrow.

  2. You are so right – it’s that mental block. It’s getting ON the bike that one time after being off of it for awhile.

    I got on the bike this morning 🙂 I’m so happy!

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