So I’ve posted before about trying to ride naked and the unpleasant smushiness on my girl bits.
Well, the girl bits got fully assaulted this week while commuting to work. Apparently my commutes are wrought with peril.
Literally in front of my work building (which is actually a security gate to the overall lot), I see a friend of mine entering by the side door. Sadly, as a cyclist, I’m not allowed to enter through the main gates where the cars go. I have to walk up a narrow freakin’ walkway, jiggle a door open and scrape by some bushes to get to the bike racks.
Therefore, seeing a friend about to enter the door (meaning he could hold it OPEN for me), meant I stopped paying attention to the road.
While calling out his name, my bike tire went parallel into the rut between the driveway and the street, and jammed in.
My bike immediately halted and I was thrown forward, crushing my delicate bits into the top tube.
It gets worse. Because my front tire had become jammed, the bike then twisted sideways. It’s hard to explain, but essentially, me and the bike were a twisted mess. The ONLY way to get OFF the bike meant I had to “fall” down to the ground to untangle.
Talk about humiliation. RIGHT in front of my work place, I had a bike crash.
And it sucked to sit the rest of the day.
PS At least I’m not a guy.