Is the gym the new beach??

California girls
We’re unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
At your gym
On top
Of the elliptical

-Katy Perry, California Girls, Lightly modified

Tone Tan
Fit and ready
Turn it up cause its gettin’ heavy
Wild wild west coast
These are the girls I love the most

No need for clothes
at the beach or gym
these girls they party
gettin’ fit or goin for a swim

-Part I – Snoop Dogg. Part II – Snoop Spark.

Having misread the gym’s class schedule, I missed the spin class. Having run a 5k on Friday, Sunday and Monday, I headed over to the nice, pleasant, low impact ellipticals (which non coincidentally had Extra! playing on the TV in front of them).

Chicken & the Egg - natural booty or stairmaster addict?


Not only do the ellipticals have the TVs with the better channels, but they are strategically placed behind the stairmasters. Girls with THE hottest asses are on the stairmasters. I’m not sure if it’s because of the stairmaster or they were blessed with beautiful booties, but it’s a great view while on the elliptical. Sure, I date men, but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a lady’s fine ass-ets while at the gym. Plus, they give me something to strive for. It also damages my self esteem, but we won’t go into that.

I had trouble finding a pic of a chick from behind on a stairmaster. Perhaps I’ll be creepy enough to take a picture with my phone next time I’m at the gym.

Anyways, to continue on with this story…

Behold my amazing photoshop skillz!


The gym I go to (24 Hour Fitness in Hermosa Beach, for the female readers who are probably now paranoid) is less than one mile from the beach. Now, I respect the beach, beach goers, (but not beach cruisers) and the fact that Katy Perry’s “California Girls” song is an accurate reflection of the young women in Los Angeles. But while watching Extra! prattle on about which celebrity has lost the most weight, two girls wander by.

Normally I don’t notice people in the gym, but I noticed these girls.

1. One was wearing a bikini with some sort of beach… tank top… thrown on top of it.
2. The other was wearing a tankini with her boobs almost falling out of the top.

I couldn’t find any pictures that truly represented the boob factor of the tankini girl, so I lightly photoshopped a picture stolen, I mean, borrowed off the internet.

Now, as a large chested female, I take up-top support very seriously. In fact, I think I need to blog about my favorite sports bras, because finding an effing sports bra you can jog in with a D-cup is in-freakin’-possible.

So all I could think of, while looking at these busty females in their no-support bathing suits, was ‘what.. the .. heck!?’. Did they figure they would A. Go to Beach B. Go to Gym C. In that order?

Here I have spent the past few days worrying about triathlon bust-support, and today’s youth just wanders into the gym with NO bust support, ready to sweat?

I really don’t have a conclusion to the post, as I was rather confounded with the inanity of it all. I am not sure what machines they hit up, but for my sake (as opposed to all the heterosexual men and homosexual women at the gym), I hope they went with something low impact. No nip-slip at the gym, please!

Has this ever happened to you? Post and describe, or bonus points if you took creepy pictures with your cell phone!!

4 thoughts on “Is the gym the new beach??

  1. Not quite but I used to work at a university and I remember the young nubile coed bodies walking around and to class in bikini tops. WTF? Class in a bikini top? Not conducive to learning, quite distracting to their classmates IMO. I guess it's an age thing. Flaunt the twins while young and perky?

    • Woah! I went to USC and I didn't see that behavior, although I did see the girls biking around (on beach cruisers, ugh) with skirts on and not panties. I never liked flaunting the twins, but I am a modest new englander… did YOU ever flaunt 'em??

  2. @ inga Maybe that was part of their plan to get the best grades in the class?

    @Syko Whoa! That is part of the reason why I stopped going to the gym–beyond the self-esteem slam, I was tired of people treating the gym like another place to hook up (and dress for the occasion). I used to belong to a woman's only gym, and I loved it! (Specially since the females don't distract me as much as they distract you.) Everyone there just got down to business then got out, no fuss, no muss.

    Reading your blog is making me want to work out more though. :-)

  3. I used to work in an office located behind a 24-hour fitness in Aliso Viejo. No beach bikinis, but I swear these women would have their hair and makeup done before going to the gym.

    It's pretty easy to tell the difference between a woman who goes to the gym to work out, and a woman who goes to be seen. The most obvious indicator to me is the hair. If the hair is long and worn down, she's there to be seen. If it's falling in gentle, poofy, impeccably manicured waves to her shoulders, there's no way in hell she's interested in breaking a sweat. If she's not oozing from one side of the gym to the other, powdered nose in the air, she's probably on the bikes, hitting 50 rpms with the resistance set to 2. Or perhaps the stairmaster set on 3. Or maybe she's doing slow bicep curls with the 2lb dumbbells. While chatting with some guy who spends more time on his hair than she does about possibly enrolling in some personal training sessions.

    But hey, I guess people try to meet people who share their interests, right? Whatever, just stay the fuck off the equipment I want to use, bitches!

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